There are a lot of things that can really piss me off about men. But on the flip side, because there always is a flip side, there are certain qualities that I find in men that are so needed, adoring and appreciated. At least for me personally.
There is one quality in particular I want to focus on but for the life of me I don’t know how to name it. It’s a quality that men will use different tools to achieve it. I can only describe it as a “Man’s Touch.” I don’t mean physically. I mean emotionally.
When men use this on me, it has a very positive effect in so many different circumstances. In some cases, it makes my life easier with no drama or complications like in the workplace. Or it calms me down when I’m upset, incredibly angry, frustrated or when I know I’m being an irrational female. Or it softens me. Or it makes me lighten up. Or it charms me. Or it makes me overlook any shortcomings and will let you get away with some things with me.
The tools men use for this will be the following:
Keeping things simple
Keeping a level head
Keeping calm
Providing solutions
Using humor and charm
Let me give you some examples of what I’m talking about.
I think this is why I have always liked having male employees better than female employees. Whenever I have to give most (not all) female employees constructive feedback, I get drama and grief. They have to question everything and my decisions. It makes me tired. I just want to yell at them the Nike slogan, “Just do it!” But when I have given constructive feedback to most men (not all because some men are drama queens too) I don’t get questioned. I don’t get arguments – they just say ok and do it. Now…. that doesn’t mean they don’t like what I’ve told them and they could be questioning things in their head but they don’t demonstrate it. It makes my life easier as a boss. I remember one time when I was a sales supervisor at MCI, I had just created and rolled out a contest for my team for the day. One of the whiney females was going on about how I should make the contest like this or that and I should do it this way, blah, blah, blah. Then suddenly one of my male employees piped up and said, “Sherri, just let Lori be the supervisor will ya?” That’s a man’s touch. It supported me.
Other male employees I have had will constantly soften me up using humor. They get me laughing. Even when I’m irritated with something they did. When they do this, it softens me. Quite honestly, and yes unfairly, I tend to let them get away with more. I can’t stay mad or incredibly strict with someone who seems to soften me and has me laughing all the time. Yes, some of these guys know exactly what they are doing when they do this with me. That’s a man’s touch. Keeping the female boss happy and off your back.
A bunch of friends, my boyfriend (at the time) and myself all got dressed up and drove down to Mexico to go club hopping for dancing and drinks. I can’t recall exactly what it was that made me furious and agitated – it was something that some of the friends did. I think it was because I was in a mini skirt, heels, and all made up and having to walk and walk and walk. They kept getting lost or changing their mind about clubs or something. Anyway my boyfriend and I were walking a bit behind the rest of the group and I was just going on cussing and being a pissy female. At one point my boyfriend stopped and started laughing. I started to get even more mad and asked what was so funny. He said, “I’m laughing because I’m just glad it’s not me you are mad at. Also, you are sooo damn sexy when you are mad.” I IMMEDIATELY softened. I started smiling and laughing and then he kissed me. I walked the rest of the way smiling and not complaining anymore. The agitation was completely gone. That’s a man’s touch. Teaching me not to sweat the small stuff and bringing out the best in me with the perfect thing to say.
Then there are times when I reach a point of being really angry by shouting, slamming things around, chewing out the guy or just venting out of anger at him that deep down I know I’ll regret later. I’ll just become and irrational female for a few moments. I take a risk in behaving this way because it could cause a serious argument and get the guy all riled up. But…. when a guy is actually calm and level headed with me when I’m like this, it is the perfect thing. When he reacts positively instead of negatively to my behavior, it softens me and completely calms me down. I appreciate it. This one happened just recently with an email I sent. Now I wasn’t being totally out of control in the email but I was being pretty demanding in it because I was so frustrated. He reacted calmly and honestly. Later he took the time to be there for me, to listen to me, really listen to me and give me his attention. All the while using bits of humor here and there. That’s a man’s touch. Keeping level headed and calm to really listen, understand and comfort me. Totally overlooking the irrational behavior and getting underneath. To this person I say, thank you.
Sometimes I think men know exactly what they are doing when using a “Man’s Touch” and yet sometimes I think they are not really aware they are doing it and is second nature to them. Either way, it’s needed. It’s appreciated. And it doesn’t go unnoticed by me. I’m not saying women don’t have some of these qualities but I just think men are better at it. It’s more in their nature I think. They were meant to have these qualities to calm us bitches the hell down and keep us smiling.
Rick Said:
on July 15, 2008 at 12:31 pm
That’s a weird comment to leave on here. lol
Martini Girl Said:
on July 15, 2008 at 1:13 pm
I’m thinking it might be a spammer or scammer. In fact it is spam, I just deleted it.